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How to approach meeting someone for the first time…

So…what do you do for a living?

We all have our canned answers to describe ourselves to the strangers that ask us this question. So…I suppose for a moment, pause and reflect upon the answers you have given throughout the years.

Think of those times you were hesitant to state your job title; and also think of those times you were proud to state your job title. Consider the times you were either happy, sad, or indifferent when someone asked you “what do you do for a living.”   One thing is for certain; professional competence, college diplomas, jobs, and socio-economic status do not correlate to happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction.

We are all on a wave but each person’s wave has different lengths. Being self aware and cognizant of this fact provides each of us with small boosts to our emotional intelligence score.

The dreaded “first impression” can certainly have different outcomes when you’re able to live in the moment of a conversation instead of replaying canned questions and answers.

If we agree that human beings are much more than job descriptors and titles; consider your own life story…

If someone had to introduce you in front of an audience; would you expect them to come to the microphone and blurt out your job title and degrees… then walk away from the microphone and sit back down?

Maya Angelou famously said, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” Ultimately, that’s what this blog post is about.

When you meet people for the first time, please let the experience be organic. Leave the canned answers and questions in the pantry closet. I have learned from my own personal experiences that this is an important concept to apply in my life. By making this small decision, it has allowed me to not blindly box people into categories or groups—because everyone has their own story to tell.

When you meet a person for the first time, consider this… those diplomas, job titles, and trophies on the mantle are simply short highlights to the various chapters that fill a person’s unfinished book of life.

Take home statements…

  1. You do have a life outside of your career…reciprocate this truth when meeting people for the first time by not immediately going for the “what do you do for a living” question.
  2. Throw the canned questions and answers in the garbage. They will help your conversations be more refreshing and organic.
  3. Instead of asking people what they do for a living, ask instead, “can you please tell me about yourself?” This allows people to have a moment of reflection. They then have an opportunity to decide if they would like to tell you their personal story.

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Author, Sam Blakemore, August 4, 2017.

 

 

 

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Managing conflict…

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You don’t have to be a manager to run into circumstances that make you want to claw your hair out. Managing conflicts in the retail market space is like pouring a cold cup of water in a glass during the summertime. What I’m trying to get at folks, is that you’re going to have to learn how to deal with the emotions of your staff, your customers, and your family, and most importantly yourself.

First, I would like to come clean… I can be the worse at dealing with conflict. I’ve yelled and kicked many garbage cans.

Any person that is passionate about their craft strives for excellence; and if excellence is not achieved there will be frustration.

Before we get into managing conflict…Let’s consider the following:

  1. On a scale of 1 to 5; how do you manage stress?
  2. Who do you talk to about your stress?
  3. What is your outlet for your stress?
  4. When was your last vacation from your work?
  5. Do you actively take time to de-stress during your workday?
  6. Have you considered quitting your job due to stress?
  7. How often do you raise your voice in a day, a week, a month?
  8. How is your family life; do you spend enough time with friends and family?
  9. How is your sleep? Have you been getting enough rest?

I bring up those questions to lead into how conflict arises. Conflicts arise with much more earnest and ease in times of stress and exhaustion. To ensure you’re at your best; make sure you at least attempt to take care of your daily needs. Eat lunch at an appropriate time, step away for a 15 minute break to clear your mind, or take a brief walk to get away from the office.

Back to conflict! Haha…

When facing conflict with customers, employees, peers, or even family— the first thing you should do is pause. The second step should be to gather your thoughts. The third step should be to listen before speaking. Pause, gather, listen. 

What does it mean to pause you ask? The pause should be intentional. It helps you to refocus your energy into not speaking. Oftentimes I’ve found that immediately speaking, only pours fuel on a “gasoline conflict”.

Gather… To gather means to collect your emotions, your feelings, your worries, your fears, your anxieties. Conflict is an adrenaline rush. Having someone out the blue, just begin yelling or cursing can be a shock to your nervous system. Thus, gather yourself and consider why you’re standing presently in conflict. The pause allows you to actively choose to gather your thoughts and emotions.

Lastly, listen with intent. Your mind will without a doubt be racing toward the hills. This person did me wrong. This person is not right. This person is crazy. Be an active listener in the process towards solving the underlying issues of both your customers and staff. I’ve found that 9 times out of 10 a customer or staff member just needed a moment to be heard. It’s easy to underestimate the value of listening. It’s very easy to want to solve a problem; oftentimes the problems are simple problems that can be solved in 30 minutes or by the end of the business day. The big problems that can lead to conflict often are the problems that have been festering for months.

Conflict is around the corner. But…

  • Reflect and honestly evaluate your personal stressors

Next, when presented with conflict: 

  1. Pause and breathe
  2. Gather your thoughts and emotions
  3. Listen with the intent to understand

 

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Sam Blakemore is the Pharmacy Manager of Peds Rx Pharmacy Solutions. Connect with him via: LinkedIn